Daily Archives: February 28, 2015

Music as a means of connecting

I finally looked up the lyrics to this song. I had first heard it several months ago, and really liked some of the words. Last night in the car, it came on my ipod, and I listened harder this time. Pretty much the whole song spoke to me…

Crash by Esthero

Crash down on the floor, hold your breath and fall apart.
You made a simple mistake and now you’re paying for it with your heart.
Some of us make our own beds, we can’t afford to lay in them.
Remember I always have said you should leave me alone.

‘cause I don’t wanna crash, now I’m afraid
That I’m going nowhere way too fast.
And I can’t hear what you say, I’m in a conversation with my past.
And maybe it wasn’t the brave so much as brazen but it got me through.
And somehow the path that I’ve paved just keeps leading me to you.

But I don’t wanna crash now,
Don’t wanna crash now.

I should have never been afraid to lay you down,
I just wanna hold you in my arms again.
If only for a moment I could have you here.
Lady, I would never let you go.

‘cause I don’t wanna crash now,
I don’t wanna crash now.

Come on in the sun,
When you’re scared, you can face it down.
‘cause here I am, you are not alone.

Keep facing the sun, you’ll reach it one day,
Blame it on the back ‘till you can watch with me
And you mean to be free.
And when the sun goes down, there’s still tomorrow,
Don’t you be afraid to let your sorrow breathe.
Your strength is all you need.

Did you ever know you were the one?
‘cause I can hardly even tell.


a day ahead

Ever since Thursday afternoon, I have felt like it should be a day ahead of what it actually is.

Today feels like it should be Sunday…

I’m not totally sure why this is. I’m on pins and needles for Tuesday because I will get money again. I think I feel trapped without any cash. If I had money, I could go to the beach, or hang with friends, or buy food I’ve been craving…

Finances are a huge contributor to my depression…

And if it were Tuesday, I could try again with TM and hopefully settle the misunderstandings I think are going on.

And I could go out to dinner with my friends… I miss having social contact.