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The title is about as functional as I feel right now. Took a muscle relaxer last night because my back froze up, and it’s still working on my head and body into today. When I move, it’s super-slow. When I think… well, I can’t really think right now. Very little gets translated from what’s in my head as pictures and half-formed thoughts.

I’ve been staring at the floor knowing I need to vacuum since I dragged myself out of bed around 9am (It’s now after 1pm). I keep thinking I need to pick up the dog toys and put them away, but that’s as far as I get. Then mom asked if I would vacuum… ugh. I know it needs to be done, but nothing is functioning very well right now. Just let me wait until I can move outside this fog…

I haven’t even grabbed my clean laundry out of the dryer yet. It’s relatively easy to move it from the dryer to the basket, but even that is too much at the moment…

I like that the muscle relaxer helps my back loosen up, but I hate the way I can’t function the following day…

Home sick from a place we never wanted to call home.

This is pretty powerful, especially the end. It speaks to being more comfortable with the known than the unknown… There’s more I want to say about it, but I can’t formulate the words just now.

andymez

I often wake up hoping I’d be in a cot. Hearing Jason screaming the lyrics to barbie girl. I’d roll over and click play on the pre-mission playlist; Big Krits  “Rise and Shine” plays. Maybe Poly would come in and slap my foot and say lets get chow or Ryan would have already been up giving me his leftovers while I tell him his sister is beautiful, A running joke that has been going on for nearly 4 years now.

I wake up in a full size bed on Long Island. No chow hall but easily accessible food everywhere in sight. I can get a breakfast sandwich if I really wanted. Freshy Fresh isn’t too far. I no longer see the faces I’ve grown comfortable and accustomed to seeing. The things that were so agitating have become memories and jokes. We would tip beer bottles and laugh about the indirect fire…

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