Category Archives: Wreck This Journal

the mask of distance (aka: WTJ progress)

So, for the last few days, thing have been relatively calm in my head. This is a good thing. I finally started practicing my art again.

 
20140820_191145_zps9b9oixm0I’ve done a few pages in my WTJ. I disliked the way the “Shrub This Page” came out, so I got some tips on using colored pencils effectively and tried my hand it at again. I think colored pencils have great potential, and I have seen some amazing work done with pencils, so the Knight was pretty disappointing (though better than most things I have done in colored pencil to date). I will be going back over him later, but first I wanted to try it on a smaller scale…

 
20140822_162741_zpsdgjuv0qwI colored in the lips and pen cap from the “Write with the pen in your mouth” page. I guess it came out ok, but I still need practice. I also suck at teeth… and pens… but that just means I need more practice…  (The white on the lips and pen is gel pen though). There was no reference pic, so the highlights are off… This has been bugging me since I called it “done” but I am not sure how to fix it. ugh.

 

10628522_10152664962639892_2778590973427399790_nI also did work on “This page is a sign. What do you want it to say?” I re-did the message “I’m still learning” I thought it was appropriate again on so many levels. I’m learning with myself, I’m learning with my art, I’m learning to trust others, I’m learning about life… I’m still learning…

On another note; tomorrow is my session with TL. I’m not sure if I will be able to tell her what I want to. I have it written out, but she always wants me to read the stuff I write out loud. I don’t think I will be able to do that tomorrow.  I hope she is ok with that… and I hope she doesn’t react the way I fear she will. I’m guessing she wouldn’t but the anxiety I have around it all is louder than the reason.

 


first (independant) creative venture in nearly 2 weeks!

Outside of the assignments tackled in the art journal workshops, I have been having a really difficult time with artist’s block lately. Something finally gave though! I was able to doodle away a bit in my wreck this journal.

IMG_20140819_155027_zpsrkrs4k7jIt was partially inspired by the fb post of the art a mom created out of her kid’s wall scribble, and part zentangle-type stuff. After doing the initial design in black, I decided to break out the gel pens again for some color. I think I like how it came out overall.

The prompt was “draw fat lines and thin”

 


more art – wtj: throw something (Arrow)

Today was rough. The body memories came back again with a vengeance early in the morning. That left me feeling very small and vulnerable. To help get out of it, I thought I would try my hand at art again. I couldn’t come up with something overly expressive, so I figured I would work on my Wreck This Journal. I finally got around to finishing the “throw something” page.

I have had the idea of doing Arrow on the left side since I did the original bulls-eye with the arrow on it, I just never had the motivation or courage to try the drawing. Today I sucked it up and just painted away. I’m not totally happy with it, but I think it’s ok enough. I also posted it on the Arrow page on fb. I know I’m a lesbian and all, but Stephen Amell is one of my man-crushes (Shemar Moore from Criminal Minds is the other). Have you seen him do the herringbone pull-ups?! … and those “superhero workouts” Holy Shit that man is fit!! Total respect for that level of dedication and skill…

Anyway, here’s my homage to Arrow…

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Wtj: ugly draw

 

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Demons always win.


Updates to my Wreck This Journal

Still going at it little by little.  I should be doing other things, but sometimes a girl needs a distraction (and sometimes this is all I can muster)… These are not all the updates to date, but all I have pictures of at the moment.


Ugh.

Mood is not in a great place today and when I text J to see if we were still meeting today, she cancelled last-minute. That just makes me want to stay in bed.  The day is not off to a good start. Money issues, crappy mood, no therapy… I see De tomorrow, but it feels like forever away. We were supposed to save money, and we spent it all. We suck at this. I suck at this. And I have no motivation to try to find ways to make more right now.  L’s hours have been cut so much that her check was less than half of what it had been lately. That really screwed up our ability to meet our monthly needs, forget about saving. Ugh. Can I hide in bed all day (week, month, year)?

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Today’s progress with Wreck This Journal

I can’t seem to put this down for long. Creativity took a while to kick in today, but I pulled a few pieces together that I really like…

the last one I worked on tonight (Ugly Things) is sticking with me.  It took the most thinking to pull together, though the general idea came pretty quickly.  I wanted to represent my struggles with… life, and show the reasons behind those struggles.  I wanted to pull some more meaning into this book because I need to balance out my light and dark sides.  I’m still working on the rest of it (want to figure out how to add in something about my struggles with eating/body image, as well as the sh).  The girl in the corner was supposed to be contemplating suicide by multiple methods, but it just looks like she is using the pills and booze to numb the nightmares, and fending them off with the knife… While metaphorically accurate in that sh keeps the nightmares at bay, I want the sh to be a bit more explicit in the piece because it has been so explicit in my life for so long.  I want the viewer to know that she is thinking of slicing herself up, not just the monsters in her head. I also want to do something with hands being held down. I can’t find a satisfactory reference pic though, so it has not materialized yet.