Tag Archives: recharging

so incredibly tired

Yesterday, we headed out to the other coast for a day trip.  A friend was down for a visit, and we decided to meet up.  It was a much-needed and quite awesome experience.  My wife and I detoured on the way over and took a road that led into the swamp.  We pulled over a few times to check out some of the wildlife.  I’m so grateful that my wife indulged me like that.  I was able to get some cool pics of vultures, 2 kinds of locusts, and a box turtle (<–really cool coz I have never seen them in the wild before).  Then we headed out of a refuge where we saw more really cool critters.  THEN WE SAW WILD DOLPHINS!!!! We were at the beach taking pics and noticed a bunch of people watching something in the water.  That’s when we saw what it was: 2 adults and a baby dolphin!  L and I were not dressed to go in the water, but we figured it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.  We pulled our wallets and phones out of our pockets.  I held everything up high in one hand and walked out taking pictures with my camera in the other (I kept forcing myself not to play out any worst-case scenarios of being knocked over by waves or tripping and losing all our electronics to the ocean water).  I waded out farther than L, and got a pretty good view of them.  They swam about 4 feet from a lady and her adult son.  We must have watched them for a good 15 minutes before they swam off towards the gulf.  Luckily L and I had remembered to bring a change of clothes with us so we were not soaked the whole rest of the day.  We were definitely on a high the rest of the day though.

We got home just after 11pm, but my head was already spinning with how tired I was by the time I pulled the car into the driveway.  I slept like a rock and had a lot of trouble getting up in the morning.  I was able to stay awake for a few hours before that same head-spinning, “about to pass out I’m so tired” feeling hit again.  I crawled back into bed to sleep for another 2 hours.   I’ve been up for less than 2 hours, and that feeling is back.  I thought it may be from not eating enough today, but even having dinner has not helped much.  I guess I really tired myself out these last few weeks.  But yesterday was totally worth it. We got to cross 2 things off our bucket list…

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tired and spent and…

I’m so overwhelmed right now. I want to back out of absolutely every commitment right now. Only guilt is eating me about it, so I can’t. And G is coming for his 8-day visit on Wednesday. I see a crash coming, but I have no idea how to contain it. Saw De today, and she told me she would rather see me overwhelmed at the moment than with too much time on my hands. I think both are equally detrimental. I feel trapped by so much. If I had the finances, I would escape for a few days… My head hurts and my brain is scrambling for a legit and safe way to back out of things for a bit. I think I need to take a break from both therapy and commitments. It’s all too much right now. I wish G were not coming down. I wish I could have the house to myself for a few days (no humans, no dogs, no one) so I could just re-charge myself… Can I hide for a while?