Tag Archives: neuropsychological testing

more stupid triggers

I had a neoropsych assessment last week in hopes that it help point us in a direction for this weird physical stuff I’m experiencing.

During the assessment, the psychologist was flipping pages in a booklet, showing me pictures of stuff I needed to try to remember. At one point, I stated losing track of what the pictures were, and started focusing on her hand turning the pages, and what the paper sounded like. It wasn’t really a conscious thing, just my attention switching. The sound of the pages turning became the loudest thing in my head, and I couldn’t see anything but her hand. It only lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to trigger something. I started feeling body stuff in the middle of this test that shouldn’t be triggering or disturbing… She caught on that something was up, and I told her that her turning the pages were triggering for some reason I couldn’t pinpoint (and still really can’t). She continued with the testing, but let me turn the pages from then on.

It’s seriously the stupidest little things that hit me out of nowhere… wtf??

Some days I want to scream at the memories to leave me alone and let me continue on with my life.

Oh, so the preliminary results (mostly just from her knowing the general average results, without any real scoring yet) have my verbal memory functioning at “seriously impaired”. She suggested that it’s likely due to the medical marijuana, but since it’s the only real thing that helps the ptsd, to keep taking it. Overall, the verbal memory impairment is less problematic than the impairment from the symptoms it treats… this might be the one time I agree with the phrase “the benefits outweigh the side effects”.

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more tests needed…

So, a huge wait and a short appointment later, it has been determined that I function pretty well between episodes (duh!). Because the vertigo at the moment it so mild, and the cognitive impairments are brief and so far between that he can’t think of anything it might be. He suggested neuropsych testing but it is quite expensive. I am scheduled for an EEG and some balance testing, but that’s only because it can happen before the end of the month (so my crappy insurance will pay for it). The neuropsych testing would take much longer than that to schedule I guess.

I really do want to figure out what all this is though. I’m hoping something will show on the upcoming tests so I can get some answers. Right now, I just get looks from professionals that make it seem like they are simply indulging my stories as they smile and nod (because nothing is really being observed or measured).

My biggest concern is losing my independence with driving. I don’t want to be told I cannot drive, but I also don’t want to put people in danger. It’s just scary when I suddenly can no longer process visual or auditory information in a meaningful way.

I did tell the doctor that at first I wasn’t sure if it was part of my normal dissociation, but the increasing frequency is causing some anxiety.

I’m supposed to go back for a follow-up in a month, unless the tests show something hugely alarming. Then I’m sure I will go back sooner, but I doubt they will show anything much because it’s so sporadic…