Daily Archives: October 10, 2018

dumb question…

can you have flashbacks of non- trauma memories?

Or, at least I don’t think that bit was traumatic…

It happened at mil’s house tonight, both the kids were doing their homework. Our great niece kept doing anything but reading, and MeeMa kept telling her to “read [her] book”. For a few seconds, I was a kid, hearing that same phrase while doing homework… it was my aunt saying it? Or maybe my mom? I’m not really sure, but it was an adult female in the family and it wasn’t bitch… Or maybe it was?

It was so strong in the moment that it happened, but it’s mostly faded now.

I did recall feeling uncomfortable, like i was waiting for more fighting, but… it was such a weird moment… and it wasn’t a flashback directly to a domestic violence moment (the only kinds that come with visuals and sound for me. The sa memories are 90% physical with only the vaguest sense of what the situation actually was)…

I dunno… it felt so real though, and it’s so dissolved now…

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That escalated quickly (in a good way)

So, I’ve been half-heartedly researching the idea of acquiring a service dog for years now. I think having one would be a good idea, especially with my current physical crap.

So, I casually threw a request out on fb yesterday, mostly asking basics like if anyone had leads on reputable organizations that train for mobility/assistance work & ptsd/psychiatric work.

A trainer friend responded.

We got to talking about what I was looking for in an s. d., thoughts on training my own, and where to look for prospects.

Before I knew it, we had a plan mostly together to find me a dog and begin training.

I didn’t exactly expect to move this fast, but the idea of having support and assistance in the form of a dog is relieving.

I really dislike bugging people for things. Having a trained service dog will mean I don’t have to make sure someone is with me to carry things, or to help open doors when I get fatigued, or to help me ground from flashbacks.

This is awesome! (Intimidating also, because I worry about my ability to be consistent, but my friend said she’ll be there to help)…

Now, to round up the cash for the dog, vet bills, and training…

Another friend has been bugging me to make her some play therapy figurines. She’s taking this opportunity to get me to follow through. She offered to cut me in on profits of any of the pieces I make to help raise money for this venture.

I’m also thinking of doing some smaller pieces of art to sell as a way to raise more money.

I seriouslly dislike the concept of handouts (it always feels like there are strings attached), so selling stuff to make cash will be a way of avoiding having to ask people to give me money…

Now, to figure out what to try to sell for a fundraiser. Thoughts?