Eternity and no time at all

It’s been 2 weeks since Chow died… yesterday would have been her 7th birthday.

It feels like she’s been gone forever, and like it was just yesterday. 

Ordered new name tags for the other two yesterday because Shutterfly had a promo going. Both L and I felt like we should be picking one for Chow also…

It’s so weird without her here. 

My anxiety is hitting hard again, especially days when I work at the front desk at the kennel. It feels really wrong without her there with me. I bring the other two, but they get noisy and need to be sent back into the kennel when that happens… Cow would just sit quietly with me and I didn’t have to worry that she would disrupt things. 

The other two dogs are also experiencing a lot more anxiety. They don’t want to be left alone anywhere. They used to tolerate being home alone for a few hours, but now the little guy barks himself hoarse. Sadie doesn’t like us sleeping in past 6:30 am anymore. If we are in the bedroom too long, she yells for us to wake up. She also panics a lot after we get home. She still sometimes goes outside looking for hints of Chow in all the spots she used to frequent… neither tolerates that half-hour alone in the camp room at work between the time we get there and the time camp actually starts…

I still expect chow to knock me in the head with the bathroom door if I don’t close it all the way. Both L and I look for her to pick up dropped food in the kitchen… 

It really sucks…

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4 responses to “Eternity and no time at all

  • alicewithptsd

    Hugs. It is so hard to lose a pet. They are like family. 💟

  • Laura Black

    It’s so tough. And having the others must make it harder when you can see they are missing her too. I hope they settle down and adjust soon, and that things start to feel a bit more normal – albeit a new and unwanted sort of normal. Sending hugs to you and the pups x

    • Samantha Jane

      Thanks… I realized while talking about it all in therapy, that my default even for dealing with this loss, is to dissociate it. Gotta love defense mechanisms.
      We are trying to find ways to lower the other two’s anxiety levels. It w seems like they both freak out if we leave the house for more than an hour, and they both are super antsy still at home.

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