And now I’m anxious about going to bed…

…will the anxiety ever just go away??

The flopping fish is going nuts in my chest. It makes my shirt dance. 

I’m anxious about going to bed. I know nothing bad will happen, but I’m still having a difficult time packing it in for the night. Every time I think about it, my chest rattles and thuds. 

Instead, I’m thinking of the most complicated way to frame a dimensional paper cut-out I did today. I’m not deliberately thinking of the hardest way to do it, that just seems to be my default. I can’t seem to figure out the easy answers to things untill someone points me in the right direction… so far, no one has done that. I’ve even asked the dogs, but they are more interested in what i’m eating and drinking than figuring out my framing issues…

I long for the day when depression, flashbacks, and anxiety no longer are a struggle. I’m so tired of all this. 

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5 responses to “And now I’m anxious about going to bed…

  • alicewithptsd

    I hope you were able to find some calm and get some sleep. I’m having bedtime anxiety, too. I get it. Xx

    • Samantha Jane

      Thanks. I was able to exhaust myself enough to get to sleep with my music on. I slept for a while on the couch… have you found anything that helps the anxiety?

      • alicewithptsd

        Not really. Sometimes I take trazadone, but it makes me really foggy. Yoga helps, but it makes me much more grounded in my body which sometimes makes things worse. 😐

      • Samantha Jane

        Trazodone kicks my ass for almost a full day… I should try yoga again. I’m not good at being grounded in my body, but the rest of it has been good (at least for aches and pains). My t is a yoga master. She often recommends it. I should take up the suggestion. According to her, there is yoga for trauma…

      • alicewithptsd

        Yes, there is yoga for trauma. I did trauma informed yoga for a year or so, and then switched to regular yoga class and yoga at home. It is really helpful– I notice when we do 10 minutes of gentle yoga and a 2 minute falling asleep meditation, my daughter sleeps so much better, and I am at least calmer.

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