Avoidance

I think I need to have a conversation around avoidance with Dr C… I find it difficult to go in after a week and try to delve right into difficult stuff. I tend to talk about the weekend and allow the session to veer from the heavy things I’ve been holding onto for the week. I was able to eventually mention the memories from the weekend, but I didn’t talk about it to the degree I wanted to address it….

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5 responses to “Avoidance

  • pattyspathtohealing

    It is so hard sometimes to let myself delve deep into what is going on with me. When I think that I really need to talk about something and I know I’m likely to avoid it, I try to make me more accountable to me. I try to write about it in my journal or on my blog, or I make an agenda for my therapy appointment, and I’ve been known to send my therapist an email or voice messageahead of time telling her I think I’m going to avoid this subject or that I really need to talk about it and I’m not feeling confident about my ability to go deep. She might then ask in session if I’m ready to talk about what I need to. She won’t four ce me, but if I struggle, and ask for help, she’ll provide some assistance.

    • Samantha Jane

      I’ve done that a few times, but I didn’t think of it this time. I tried emailing her my thoughts on it as afterwards, but I chickened out on sending the original email. I transferred it to my journal, then sent her something more innocuous… I’m not even sure she would get it. She had offered the email option, but I had declined it at the time. Then I got her email, but didn’t send anything for a while… it’s easier to rethink it before I hit send…
      So it’s worked out asking for accountability?
      I don’t know why it’s so difficult for me to do with this t. i think I have higher standards for myself with her. maybe it’s because I’ve worked with her so long; I should be better at asking for what I need and have better insight by now…

      • pattyspathtohealing

        It has worked out for me, but my therapist will not hold me accountable, but she will remind me of what I asked for and tell me that I should use my time as I need to. When I first started seeing my therapist, she would bring up the content of an email, now she’ll remind me that I sent her an email. I think, eventually, she won’t even do that.

  • Rachel

    I was also wondering if Dr. C ever directly asks about issues. Or if she does, and you skirt the issue. Either way, I understand why you would feel down on yourself, if you have high expectations. I feel alot of compassion for you and wanting to be less avoidant. That is a really important piece of moving forward.
    Also, I switched my blog to private. I think you were following before, and if you would still like to read, I’d love to have you. It gives the option to request access, and when I see that email pop up, I’ll grant it.
    http://www.thetherapyrelationship.wordpress.com

    • Samantha Jane

      She does sometimes ask directly about things, but mostly she leaves it up to me to cover whatever I need to. It’s good and bad at the same time. It’s good because it steers me in the direction of asking for what I need (something that’s very difficult to do). It’s kinda crappy because I don’t always have the courage to ask…
      Thanks for the heads-up about the blog. I do like to read it. I will head back over to request access. I’m not as active reading as I’d like to be, but I’m working on that 😉

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