Invisible depression

It’s that weird “not depressed but depressed” depression variety. I want to cry for no reason (not even feeling sad). I have very little motivation. I’m exhausted all the time, but can’t sleep. I don’t want to interact with anyone…
There’s no sadness though. There’s no hopelessness (at least not overt). It’s just a lack of anything even remotely enjoyable.

At least I was able to admit it in group today. I had hoped to talk more about it, but again my head was wiped clean as soon as I walked through the door to the office building. I couldn’t think of what to say. I couldn’t talk about the journal or the recent increase in triggers. It’s so frustrating. It felt as instant and complete as when you shake a messy etch-a-sketch… I guess I should write things down for Monday.

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4 responses to “Invisible depression

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