Exhausted

I used to be able to spend entire days in the company of other humans and still function when I got home. Today I spent a few hours with a friend after my therapy appointment and I can barely function now. I’ve always been an introvert who needed her time to recharge, but it feels particularly brutal today.

Overall it was a good day, I’m just really, really tired now…

In therapy we talked about the concept of putting on masks both as a child to keep up the facade of a happy family, and more recently to keep the facade of a functioning adult. There aren’t as many masks today, but they are still very practiced and easy to slip on. Dr C reminded me that I can be my genuine self with her (she wants me to be)… It’s so easy to be fake that it’s now second nature. I actually have to think about doing it to be able to drop it… go figure. It’s exhausting to fake appearances, but it’s actually more exhausting to drop the mask…

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