Today in therapy…

Today in therapy, we covered the origins of my worthlessness, and the concept of feeling like an asshole simply for stating my preferences/needs/desires.

Dr C was still trying to wrap her head around the concept of me feeling intrinsically worthless compared to others at the point we had to wrap up. I just couldn’t explain my reasoning to her in a way she understood (read: agreed)…

Despite our conversation about not being an asshole for having preferences, I still wasn’t able to tell her that I wanted to keep my individual appointment as is when she asked if I’d be ok with making group at that time (since I would potentially be missing group this week due to a doctor’s appointment). It’s shaping up to be an emotionally rough week so I’d really like to have that added individual time, but I agreed to group at that time anyway… maybe I will ask her tomorrow if she has more time this week… I want a chance to process the things that are being brought up by both the domestic violence fundraiser and the doctor’s appointment… I had hoped to talk about more of it today, but time ran out trying to cover what we did open up…

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