Anxiety out of nowhere

While my ptsd symptoms have lessened considerably since the move, some intense anxiety has started up. If I’m the last one to leave the house, I go back and check that the windows and doors are locked and secure several times. I almost cried on my way home from work yesterday because I couldn’t go back to check all the doors and make sure the animals were ok after I left (I had forgotten my keys at home. It’s possible to lock up without them, but not possible to get back in). It takes me about 15 minutes to wash each dish when I’m doing them by hand. I think I’m done scrubbing, put it out to dry, then pick it up again and re-wash it just to be sure it’s clean. I’m ok with a dishwasher running a cycle and thinking they are clean, but if they are done by hand, I keep going back over them. I’ve forced myself to leave dished L does and not redo them…

The dishes thing has always been an issue, but the checking and rechecking of the doors is new. I even recheck the car multiple times to make sure it’s locked.

I have no idea why this is happening now. Things are still stressful around money and settling the last bits of the apartment, but it shouldn’t cause a sudden ocd-like flare up…

Other than that, things are ok. My back is still really painful, but I’m learning to get used to it. We still have to figure out the bed situation (I’m thinking both the pump and the air chambers in our sleep number bed need repair or replacement), so we are still sleeping on the couch. I’ve noticed I have trouble with anxiety about going into our bedroom similar to the anxiety I had about going into the reptile room when I lived with my mom… but yeah, other than that, things are good.

I have group with Dr C later on today. If we have time, I may bring this up…

Working is good except for the anxiety. I like the chances I get to play with the dogs at camp. I’ve told my boss that i’m willing to do camp any time she needs another person to cover it. There’s a lot less anxiety just watching the dogs and making sure they don’t kill each other…


2 responses to “Anxiety out of nowhere

  • Rachel

    I wonder if the fact that things are more settled, and you don’t have such impending change happening, if why the anxiety is surfacing. Sometimes when things in my life are stable and there isn’t a lot of change, that is when the anxieties and PTSD stuff comes up because I actually have the space for it to surface. May not apply to you at all, but wanted to share. Hope it quiets down for you soon. xx

    • Samantha Jane

      You might be on to something with that. It was also brought up that it sounds like I’m anxious about something going wrong and it ago being my fault.
      Either way, I’m kinda wishing it would go away :/

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