stuck inside myself

I want to talk or journal or something, but I find myself starting and stopping before anything materializes. I’m not sure what to say or how to say it. My responses to people are short and substance-less. I dunno. This whole uncertainty about therapy combined with flow is fucking with me today. I just want to cry and sleep.

Those walls that go up are good at keeping emotions at bay, but they also make me blank and stuck.

I have a feeling TM’s not back yet, nor will she be any time soon (or I fear that). I’m not sure what to do with it, how to process that right now. Because I worried about her dropping me based on the direction of the last session, I feel like we are done, and I need closure on this. Only I don’t know how to get it. There’s no closure if she’s out and we can’t meet. There’s also no correcting/confirming my assumption that she wants me out.

I’m also worried about her. I hope she is ok… I don’t want to think she’s really hurting, or worried about a loved one or herself, or sick. I want her to be ok. She seems really nice. I don’t want anything bad happening to her. :/

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One response to “stuck inside myself

  • somberscribbler

    Sometimes when I am having trouble journaling, I go for prompts. I find a list on Pinterest and make myself answer them all. The usually jump starts me. I hope TM doesn’t leave you hanging much longer. That’s frustrating.

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