So, I did the trauma narrative last night. It had me feeling “off” ever since finishing. I agonized over leaving a message for TM all night and most of today. I finally settled on taking the risk of sounding overly needy and leaving her a voice mail. I remembered her saying Wednesdays are her late days, so calling at 11 am should have given me the safety of being able to leave a message vs having to speak to her. I thought about what I wanted to say, and rehearsed it in my head over and over again. I took a deep breath and dialed.
(OK, come on vm, pick up so I can talk to you before I forget what I want to say)
:ri..:”Hello, this is TM”
(Panic. Shit! She wasn’t supposed to be there yet! Cue being totally tactless and stupid) “Doh! You weren’t supposed to pick up… I…”
“Is this Samantha?”
“Yes… sorry. I had something to say, but you threw me off by answering…”
I appreciate she answers her phone when she has availability, but… ugh! It was such an awkward phone call and I didn’t manage to say what I needed to. Luckily she laughs at my dry humor, and I totally appreciate that she tried to get me to articulate what I had intended to say… sometimes I miss that calls to TL went straight to voice mail.