I took a muscle relaxer least night after my back went into spasms (was trying to get up to go to the bathroom around 3 am and realized I couldn’t move without excruciating pain). I’m so glad I kept the pills from a few years ago. The first time, L was giving me a massage. When I tried to stand up after she was done, I realized I couldn’t move. Ended up needing to call an ambulance because I couldn’t even flip over to put my top back on. Poor L refuses to give me any more massages… anyway, I had some left over from that time, and it saved me from having to call paramedics last night. It did however kick my ass. I was pretty much comatose till about 1pm. I was ready to pass out again by 6. I have such a low tolerance for meds if I don’t take them often…
Today was a wash for anything productive thanks to the pain killer. I had intended to work more on a journal page I started last night, but I’m still pretty foggy. As it stands, it’s just a background. I have a plan for it, but that wasn’t going to happen today. Maybe tomorrow.
Yesterday, I had called De’s agency to find out if I could get services there again. I was there so long with De, they doubt it, but will leave it up to the clinical supervisor. I think even if she makes an exception, I will decline. I don’t like being an exception… I doubt she will anyway.
I’m still waiting on a call from someone at TL’s agency. I think they assign people in their Wednesday meetings, so maybe I’ll have someone by the end of the week. I really wish I had the insurance or the cash to get someone more experienced. I guess that will have to wait though. If this fails, I suppose I could check into the agency through which I saw D. Their sliding scale was a tad higher, but at least they are an option. I’m getting tired of having to keep starting fresh with someone every few months… oh well. Guess that’s life at the moment.