a fear of reaching out

So, last session TL offered that I can call and leave her voice messages if there’s ever anything I want to pass along to her between sessions, or even just to “vent or whatever”.  As much as this is a huge relief (I think it was offered without me asking, though I am not totally sure anymore), the thought of actually leaving her a message about something scares me. This weekend I had wanted to tell her I was unsure about continuing therapy, but that I definitely need to slow down on stuff. I think the fact that I am asking for something that may make her angry (I totally recognize this is a triggered thing from the past) is making me balk. I also worry that she will find my messages annoying and rescind the offer as fast as it materialized (again, likely triggered from the past, as when I told her my worry, she said the offer still stands and that she maintains that she will not necessarily respond to the message, but will listen to it and we can talk about it the next session)… I still can’t shake the fear around leaving her a message. :/

I dunno. I will probably make an attempt later today… o_O

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One response to “a fear of reaching out

  • weareonebyruth

    Something I used to do was listen to the answering machine message. For some reason hearing the message assured me that option was there, even if I chose not to leave a message. A little different perspective.

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