co-dependance, how did I get so bad?

It’s amazing how much you can come to rely on someone for your daily activities.  Since I have been home (all 36 hours), I have found I used L as my distraction and activity.  Our interactions shaped the days.  I would go out with her, or hang around the house, or watch movies.  Almost all of it hinged on her.  With her in another state, I find my motivation almost zero.  I don’t want to go out anywhere (can’t think of any place to go), I have no motivation to walk the dogs, I don’t do anything other than sit around.  It’s a stark contrast to the last 6 days when we were running around every minute of the day to cram in all the visits and activities we could in those 6 days.  The most I’ve accomplished down here was a shower…

I used to be self-reliant.  I used to cherish my time alone to re-charge.  Now I find I have too much of it. How can your personality shift so drastically?  How did I come to cling so desperately to another for my spark when I used to be totally ok on my own (happier even).  Is this a healthy, loving relationship? or have I crossed the line into another pathology?

 

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2 responses to “co-dependance, how did I get so bad?

  • jadedwildcat

    God, if you ever figure out how to stop from becoming this way, please send me some tips……
    Struggling so so badly with this right now, and I actually have had it so bad for the last 12 years. =\

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