Today will be our last session with J. I’m not looking forward to it (neither is L). The week has been emotional hell. One of the dogs is pretty sick. Yesterday she fell from the bed and popped some joints out of place. The vet was moving them around and they seemed to go back into place because she was able to walk much better after the exam. It was really scary for a few hours though, because she kept falling over and walking in circles. She is doing much better today. I hope it keeps up.
The whole J thing… Ugh. I just don’t know. I had wanted to write her a thank you letter or something, but the words are not coming. The walls are up, so the feelings have been quarantined. I know I’ll regret it if I don’t say a proper goodbye though (I always do). Inside I’m heartbroken for so many reasons. I’ve locked it away. I don’t know exactly how to access it anymore to make this goodbye meaningful. It sucks. Can I crawl back into bed for the rest of the week (…month, year, life…)?