pulling my hair out

Thursday cannot come fast enough. I have absolutely ZERO desire to volunteer tomorrow. I want to stay in bed. I want to talk to De about stuff that came up in session today, but I didn’t figure out till after. I want G gone. He’s frustrating the hell out of me, or at least the idea of him here is frustrating he hell out of me and putting us all on edge (me, mom, L…). The puppy is being a crazy puppy, and that is accentuated by the stress of G’s presence. I just want to scream and rip my hair out like in one of those stupid cartoons. It feels like all the stupid little annoyances I can mostly deal with on a regular day are impossible to stomach this week. I’m glad I see De again on Friday. I really want to talk to her.
Trust is slowly building there. We are learning to communicate and she is figuring out my often cryptic messages.
The urge to shred myself is there again. I think it’s the added stress of G. But I’m doing good at resisting… Thursday feels so far away… and he comes back again mid-October. ugh! I really need to get the hell out of here for that one, My resolve and strength is wearing very thin.

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