I’m throwing myself into things obsessively to keep from thinking. I can laugh on the surface all the while my mind is cranking out the negative.  I hear people say all the time it’s a choice, bit mine is so deeply rooted, I’m having trouble controlling it… the depression is a thick, soupy fog in my head.  No amount of positive thinking seems to burn it away.

I have to be up and ready I’m a few short hours. I’m volunteering again today. Not really in the mood to go, but will enjoy some alone time. I forget how much I need that until I haven’t had it for a while. Being around people is so draining…

I need to remember to talk to De about my dad’s visit next week. Going it will go smoothly, but need a contingency plan in case it doesn’t.


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