Conflicted (and clearly not sleeping yet)

I don’t know what to say about World Suicide Prevention Day.  All this week is dedicated to suicide prevention. I’m totally conflicted by it.  While my training and my compassion triggers an automatic “don’t do it, lets figure things out” response, my personal experiences say “it’s ok to let go and move on from the torture”.  It is torture.  While I do definitely love my life (pterapotemous), I also definitely hate being in my head. Nothing makes it better for long.  The battle is always and will always be as long as I’m alive… so that tired part of me says “ok, just be gentle with yourself.  You deserve that much”… I would take away your pain of I could.  I would make life easier for you if I could.  But don’t force me to keep fighting when I’m just so tired…

So yeah, suicide prevention gets me all sorts of conflicted…


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