I wasn’t able to tell her how I feel today… I just couldn’t find the words to say it. I froze, and the hour went by. We talked about other stuff. I see her again on Tuesday, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to say anything then either.

She said she was glad I was still doing things despite the depression. I tried to tell her I function really well up until the moment I can no longer function, but that didn’t come out right either. She assumed I meant that I was still ok, when I was trying to tell her the crash is happening now, and I want to stop it before I splat into the pavement. I so suck at communicating… 

L had given me a suggestion for what to say, but I already don’t remember :/


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