Meh.

Covered the transference thing with J. It went ok.  I Hope it helps L.

Before we did that, J wanted us to fill o outr another stupid assessment.  It frustrated the hell out of me because I was already in a bad mood about the stupid dcf applications.  The last thing I wanted was more paperwork.  I got sarcastic and snotty with my answers.  I should have written at the bottom of the sheet that I’m a pain in the ass when it comes to filing out assessments.  I think J got the point tho when she read a few of my alterations (it was a simple “circle the number that corresponds” with no writing necessary). I joked that I was a pain with these things.  We all laughed.  She said she will score it next week and we would be able to talk about it then.  She wanted to give us time to talk about the transference L had asked her about…

As much anxiety as L had about taking to J about the transference, I have that much going about the things I gave De to read in my journal. I see her tomorrow afternoon.  I’m not sure I want to talk about it, but on the other hand, I really want to talk about it…

at this point, I’m not sure how much of my bad mood is coming from the anxiety, and how much is from pms (or the depression creeping back in).  I dunno.  I just want to go back to bed and cry. And I have to volunteer again tomorrow because, I’m my infinite wisdom and a moment of weakness, I decided it was a good idea to volunteer twice a week.  What the heck was I thinking?! I have trouble enough wanting to go once a week, forget twice!  It’s fun once I get there and get into a groove (well, it’s at least tolerable), but the anxiety and lack of motivation right before sucks. 

I want to go back to bed and stay there.  I don’t want to go to Gayme Night tonight tho I know it will be fun. Ugh. Can I cry and hide?

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