I just don;t enjoy things anymore. And everything makes me cranky. I’m bored and cranky and a total bitch. And my anxiety is rising over G coming to spend the rest of the week here starting tomorrow. I think that adds to my cranky bitchiness. I just don’t want to do anything… Except maybe some stuff that is frowned-upon…
Can we just miraculously get some money again and head out of the house for the next 3 days? I wish I had known sooner that he was coming, I would have not spent all our cash on other shit.
I hate myself. I hate that I react this way. I hate that I’m a bitch to the people I care about. I just hate everything about me. (And I hate that I want to shred my leg right now because I hate myself)… Does the cycle end?

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2 responses to “

  • andreabehindglass

    I know that I really don’t know you, but you certainly don’t come across as a bitch. Your posts give the impression of someone who is doing the best they can in difficult circumstances and with challenging illnesses. You seem like you are fighting to cope against adversities, and who still seems to show huge amounts of consideration and care for other people, even with the weight of your own illnesses and struggles. No one is perfectly calm, happy and friendly all of the time–It would be extremely unhealthy and nigh-on impossible to keep so much stress and hurt inside. I absolutely don’t believe you are deserving of a scrap of the self-hatred you talk about. Keep fighting, and please continue to inspire others with your writing. x

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