I’ve noticed my startle reflex is super-sensitive today, and loud noises make my heart skip several beats. My mom’s been loud already this morning, and it’s sent shivers down my spine. I want to go hide. I’m not sure why everything is suddenly on over-drive today. I can’t pinpoint the trigger that set me off. I know my whole body has been physically sensitive for the last few days (My boobs hurt, like really ache just sitting here. My skin is crawling with a million imaginary fire ants setting it ablaze with their tiny feet. It feels like a burning steak is being driven through my temples. My muscles are as sore as if I had done a total-body workout for the better part of yesterday). The depression has been worse lately, but this heightened awareness seems to have blossomed again overnight… I want to cry and hide all day today. I want to be alone. Maybe I will take some of the animals outside with me and do a photo-shoot or something. It should be a mental and physical challenge to wrangle multiple reptiles into one picture. I wish AJ was over her mites already, I could do a Carpet Python glamor shoot with all of them. I’ll just have to be ok with only 3 snakes in the pic for now.
Does anyone else have days where everything is so much more intense? Are you able to figure out why it happens? I feel like sometimes this stuff just comes out of nowhere… I’m guessing I don’t yet realize all my triggers.
The only other thing different I can think of today is having taken my Trazodone to help me sleep last night. I have only taken it once since I got the new prescription… I can’t remember how I felt afterwards though. Maybe the Vistaril can cancel out the extra anxiety today. I will keep that in mind. I really hate taking all these meds though. They end up messing my system up, and I am left in a worse space than before I took them.