ever have that time when you cringe at every touch… it feels like you may crumble, or they may catch what you have, only to crumble to dust once the blackness over-takes them (you)? the disease is highly contagious, and spreads quickly. or at least that’s what it looks like in your head… every brush of someone else’s hand against your skin is painful not only because it may kill them, but it may also cause the ashes of you to suddenly lose cohesion and fly away in the wind. there’s not much holding those ashes together. like when the outline of a tree puffs out of existence as the bird tries to land on the burnt branches, you fear anyone even breathing near you may cause collapse.
it’s a tenuous grip you have on that last little bit of hope they dangled off the string just out of your reach. it’s all just out of your reach. you want to hide and pad your being with blankets and a warm darkness (it’s safe after all).
every touch sears your skin. it hurts like blistering burns whenever someone is nearby. it hurts because you suddenly don’t know why you are an open sore… things were not like this yesterday. they were not like this when you woke up. what changed?
I want to scratch my skin off everywhere another living thing has touched me in the last 2 hours (the dogs included). I feel like… I don’t know. I have no words for this…