I know the pieces fit…

I watched them fall away.  I know the pieces fit…

I’ve been dealing with/thinking about/discovering more dissociation, and different ways I do it these last few weeks.  Yesterday was the most pronounced in terms of difference… It’s weird.  I need to process it.  I need to figure out how it all fits, what’s it’s purpose? what do I do next? … I’m at a loss.  I really miss having my old therapist, who was more experienced in all of this.  I miss her availability.  I don’t want to dismiss D, but I can’t help but compare him to her… I was finally getting somewhere, and I chose to move (was forced to?)… I know there is a purpose to all this.  I know I need to learn something, but I don’t know if I want to learn it this way…

Trauma recovery is a tricky thing.  Just as you get going, things get thrown in your path.  You move forward cautiously, then realize you reach a plateau.  But it’s a comfortable place, one you think you can work from… And suddenly everything changes and you are dealt a new hand to have to play…

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